Riding Brave on a Hot Taipei Night
Riding Brave on a Hot Taipei Night
Post-travel musings on the importance of stoking curiosity in middle-age
Hey all,
I’m back after a couple of weeks of pretty exhaustive travel and another week of exhaustive jetlag after returning home. But after several days of fierce insomnia and a completely whacked-out sleep schedule, I’m finally finding my bearings again and am oh so close to returning to the land of the living.
This week’s newsletter is kind of a written sketch, riffing on my recent trip to Taiwan and the fascinating circumstances that brought me there for what is now the third time.
But more importantly, this story is about the importance of discovering and cultivating deep interests and passions far into adulthood. It’s about wrestling yourself out of the clutches of routine life and refusing to tell yourself that you’ve reached the endgame until you’re truly ready to hang things up and become a slave to comfort.
Maintain a healthy curiosity. There’s no telling where life will take you next.
One week ago:
The night has descended over New Taipei City, and this California boy finds himself a passenger on the back of a motorscooter half a world away from home. We zip down the highway, weaving in and out of traffic, zooming past the corner fruit vendors, 7-Elevens, and open-front stinky tofu shops, treading slick pavement and dodging cars by mere inches. I grip tightly to the grab-bar behind the seat as we accelerate, and I hear the small motor under the seat scream into a high-pitched frenzy.
The humid post-dusk Taipei air is always rich with its own unique set of sights and sounds; the ice-cream truck jingle of musical garbage trucks, glowing luminescent neon signs, and the tantalizing smells wafting from night-market vendor carts. But right now, all of it rushes by in a mad blur of light and noise like a VHS fever dream on fast-forward. I'm still new to this method of transportation and, admittedly, still a little nervous. The sheer catharsis that comes with the "forward momentum at all costs" method of scooter travel in Taiwan is a world away from the achingly slow crawl of traffic up the Sepulveda Pass on the 405 that I have to contend with back home.
We're en route to a massage parlor. A week of non-stop travel to the port city of Kaohsiung on the southern part of the island that involved plenty of walking had aggravated my scoliosis. My neck and shoulder are tight and sore. Gloria, my friend and driver, told me that she had a masseuse that could help us both loosen up.
We arrive at the parlor, parking the scooter on the sidewalk, and hang our helmets on the handlebars. Inside I am greeted by my masseuse, a rather large woman from Thailand. We struggle through a quick conversation in broken Chinese, which is neither of our first languages, and she instructs me to take my shirt and shorts off and lie face down on an open-faced cot.
A few minutes pass, and suddenly my back is being slathered with a strongly-scented oil that rips through my nostrils. It smells like menthol and camphor and tingles deep into my tissue, bringing my broken body back to life. The masseuse holds nothing back, kneading my muscles deeply, probing deep into joints with her fingers and knuckles, cracking bones, and releasing God knows how many years of pent-up tension.
This is a very strong woman, and her indifferent ruthlessness in manipulating my tissue tells me that she's a pro who has probably been making men and women squeal in the kind of pain that hurts so good for most of her life. I should be grateful, but the combination of discomfort and soothing release makes it still too early to tell if the experience is horrifying or amazing.
She moves onto my tight calves and rolls into them deeply with her clenched fists. The pain is intense, and I want to scream.
How it Began:
Five years ago, after an evening, post-workday binge of polyglot videos on YouTube, (posted by YouTube legend Moses McCormick, AKA Laoshu505000 - RIP), I was inspired enough to make the decision to begin studying Mandarin Chinese.
At the time, I had no idea how life-changing of a decision that was destined to be.
I was entering my forties, and the immense challenge of having just wrapped up my bachelor's degree two decades later than originally intended gave me the drive needed to tackle the language seriously. I was incredibly diligent, immersing myself for a couple of hours every evening, creating a series of vocabulary and sentence cards to brute-force the language into my brain.
But, as is the case when studying any language, you can only get so far in your studies without actually using it.
I had hit a wall, hired a tutor, and found a few language partners, none as even remotely interesting as Gloria, a New Taipei City native who dead-ass broke every overly-simplified assumption I had about having a language exchange partner. Gloria was equal parts hilarious, fiercely independent, savagely honest, and had an incredible eye for detail in her generosity towards others. She became one of my best friends, gradually coaxing me out of my overly introverted shell and encouraging me to visit Taiwan.
Through her, I learned that becoming a student of a language also means becoming a student of the culture and the people using that language. But a funny thing tends to happen as you immerse yourself more and more. You begin to discover that beneath the beautiful dressing of culture, we all have the same needs and dreams and face the same challenges in life.
And here I was, now on my third trip through this wonderful country, having made so many incredibly generous friends along the way, from Gloria in Taipei to Lisa, whom I met in Kaohsiung. Lisa is a truly amazing human being who lives as a digital nomad, has been to 55 countries, and runs her own online coding school, teaching young Taiwanese about programming and emerging AI technologies while strengthening their English-language skills through her cleverly designed bilingual approach to teaching.
Taiwan has no shortage of fascinating and lively people willing to give so much of themselves without any expectations. It’s core human decency on full display.
Where it’s taking me:
So what began as the simple inclination to learn a new language at the threshold of my 40s launched me into an eye-opening experience about life half a world away and how underneath its surface trappings, we're all looking for the same things during our time on Earth.
I think there are two main takeaways that these experiences in Taiwan have imparted:
The first is to find an interest, more than one if you can help it. Find something that resonates and ignites a passion inside of you, and throw yourself into it.
It may begin as a simple hobby, but cultivate it and nurture it until it grows into something far bigger. This is especially important in the world of 9-5 office desk jobs that could beat you down and numb you to your core if you allow them to.
You need something in your life that serves as an ever-present reminder that there is a bigger world outside the confines of your daily routine. There are others out there that share your enthusiasm and who can offer fresh perspectives and open bright new doors that you never knew existed.
The second is that it's ultimately up to you to decide when you want to stop growing and learning. I feel as if there are too many of us, knee-deep in middle age, who find a kind of familiar comfort in our coagulated ideas and opinions towards life. We've found some stability in a very unstable world, and we're a-ok with just settling into that and carving out our comfortable physical and mental spaces to live out the rest of our years. Watch the kids (and eventually, the grandkids) get older, keep building that retirement, and treat yourself to a nice steak every now and then.
Rinse. Repeat.
I chased this idea myself and for far too long. Courage was always the virtue that I found myself most lacking. But since learning to loosen that grip just a little bit more with each passing day, I can honestly say that my life has only grown more interesting, wonderful, and satisfying with age.
To think that after earning my degree, career-building, marriage, divorce, the loss of my parents, and becoming a parent myself... a complete cycle of grueling life events, I now find myself exploring unfamiliar streets and speaking a language I didn't know a word of six years ago with people on the other side of the planet. One simple hobby opened an entirely new, exciting chapter of my life where I found myself cultivating new friendships, sharing new experiences, and learning to live all over again.
Life isn't over until you say it is. So discover what fascinates you. It can be anything that truly speaks to your heart. There are no rules here. Dive headfirst into it, then let go and see where it takes you. Have no fear. Like John Burroughs once wrote:
Leap and the net will appear.
Yes. Today's piqued interest can lead you into tomorrow's great new adventure.
Do you have an interest that has taken you in directions you never would have imagined? Sound off in the comments! Since MidThoughts is still in its infancy, your feedback is vital in growing this community and delivering compelling content that resonates with you.
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That’s all for now. Be sure to join me back here in a week or two for another jolt of sagely midlife electricity straight to your loose-skinned noggin.